Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Being Real

I got halfway through then I started again. I didn't have a choice. There was just too many good things that I just had to go back to the beginning and start afresh, highlighter in hand.

I've been praying fairly often over the last month that God would take my creativity and use it for His glory. After all it's how He chose to make me. He could have chosen to make me any way He wanted; but He gave me this gift of creativity and I'm just so thankful. I haven't always been thankful though. There's been times of trying to stuff down deep inside who I've been made to be, who I really am. There's been many times that I've spat at the mirror speaking ugly lies right to the very core of my being. "You're just worthless", "You're a fat, ugly, stupid cow", "I hate you".

While praying this morning I found myself asking forgiveness for those words that I spoke over myself months ago and had fully believed. I'm not speaking those anymore, but I still needed to ask for forgiveness. 

For to say that I'm not good enough is to say that God's not good enough. To say that I'm a mistake is to say that God makes mistakes. And God simply doesn't. To say that I don't accept who I've been made to be is to say that I don't accept Gods wise designing of the woman He loves.

It crushed my soul. Those horribly cruel lies. I nearly suffocated in the belief of such rot. Right now though? Right now I'm in the process of 'pulling back the layers suffocating the truth of who you (I) really are (am). This book I'm reading and had to start again, it's called 'A Million Little Ways', by Emily. P. Freeman, and the previous quote is found in it. You've probably already read it, it's been blogged about a lot, but I'm a bit slow on the up-take and have only just started it!

You can purchase this book here.

I want this place to be a place where I'm real. Where I share with you from the truth of who I am. But do you know what? I'm terrified. Terrified of being vulnerable. I know that I've met people face to face who can relate to some things and struggles I've been through, but here? Here in this little, but huge world of the Internet? Here's my hesitation. Here's my procrastination. Here is where I struggle to obey in being real. 

All sorts of questions go through my head while I read this book ...

 "Will they accept me?" 
"Will they learn anything from the jibberish that I attempt to make understandable?"
 "Will they shun me when they know I've experienced depression, many times?" 
"Do they see me as being a try-hard blogger?" 

Yet in all this I know that God has made me creative. He has made me to love to write, to love photography, painting, reading, singing, drawing ... I may develop the talents that He gave me, but I didn't get to choose them for myself. 

Not one of us gets to go and select, as from a grocery store shelf, what our giftings are; He gives what He pleases, what He knows is best, and what pleases Him. He gives us what we can use to give Him glory.

"It's time to rescue our beautiful design from the dark grip of doubt and discouragement. 
It's time to remember the Spirit of power and love and a sound mind who lives within us. 
It's time to live as though we have something to offer. 
It's time to release our authentic selves into the world" 
(A Million Little Ways, page 17)

I find myself praying and thanking God so much now for who He's made me to be. I love being creative, and I truly wouldn't want to be made any other way. I absolutely love my God with all my heart. He amazes me and fills me. 

I'm reading this book afresh with highlighter ready so that I don't miss a thing that God reveals to me. I pray before I read books like this, that the truth that God wants me to learn from it will be so clear. Well, He certainly is showing me very clearly. It's confirming to me what God has been saying through my prayers for the last month.

This space, in all honesty, should have very little to do with me, 
and a great deal to do with God. 

Father God,

I love You so much. I adore Who You are and I thank you for what You've done in my life.
Your blessings to me and my family are so many. I give You all of my creativity. I give You all of who You made me to be and I say thank you. Thank you that even in my imperfection, You still choose to use me. Thank you that You saw fit to give me these talents to glorify Your Name. Help me do this more and more. Help me be real here and in my day-to day life, to live out Your Glory in all that I do. Help me speak truth and love and life. You are everything to me. Take my creativity and use it how ever You will. Lead me and guide me with my writing, my photography, my singing and show me how, when and where I am to use them. You are so beautiful, You are so faithful. I love being Yours. I give You everything. In Jesus' beautiful name,


I hope you have a beautiful week.


  1. There certainly is an element of vulnerability with blogging. At times when I feel a little too exposed I simply reel it back a little until I feel comfortable again. I find blogging such a great form of therapy. It can be such a release to put your words out there and to have support from the wonderful community that we have. Thank you for opening up your heart and mind to us. Saying hello via #teamIBOT

    1. Hello Renee, thank you for visiting here! It's nice to welcome you. I agree with you, blogging is very good therapy for sure, it is definitely a release to be getting all the muddled thoughts out of my head and into some sort of order! The community is beautiful, and I look forward to meeting more people. Have a beautiful week1

  2. Amin!!!! in tot acest drum cel avem de strabatut avem sa luptam, cu noi, cu cele din jurul nostru.....dar cind toate sunt puse la picioarele Domnului lupta se injumatateste,...astfel prin unire, credinta,nadejde, iubire vine biruinta...multumesc pt minunatele ginduri, povete ele ma ajuta de multe ori sa ma intreb pe mine unde stau si cum stau....O zi binecuvintata

    1. Translation: Amen! in all the way that we have traveled to fight with us, those around us ..... but when all are laid at the feet of the Lord's half the battle ... so the union, faith, hope, love comes victory ... thanks for the wonderful thoughts, stories they often help me to ask me where I live and how blessed day on stand ....

      Thank you for visiting Amalia, I'm glad you were encouraged here. Overwhelming victory is ours in Christ Jesus! We are very blessed as God is so good to us! Have a beautiful week!

      Va multumim pentru vizita Amalia, mă bucur că au fost încurajați aici. Victorie zdrobitoare este a noastră în Hristos Isus! Suntem foarte binecuvântați ca Dumnezeu este atât de bun cu noi! Au o săptămână frumoasă!

  3. I loved that book! "It's time to live as though we have something to offer." Very powerful quote because we each truly DO have something to offer! So glad you reminded me! Visiting from Playdates this morning & I am thankful I did! Have a great week!

    1. Hi Jiviola, that quote is certainly a challenge, although it's very exciting as well! I'm so glad you visited and found this little place encouraging. I'm a great fan of playdates and Laura's writing, I'll be linking up there again for sure! I hope you have a great week too!

  4. Elisha, I love that you are honest and real in this post! What you wrote is what so many of us feel as women. I found your blog through a link up. I write about insecurity (and other things) for young women, and this post speaks to that same topic. I wrote about it in my own post "Why I Don't Take Hot as a Compliment". Love your blog, I'll visit again!

    1. Hello Phylicia, thank you for your encouragement and for assuring me that women can relate to what I've written. We are too hard on ourselves. I'm so glad to hear that you love this blog, and that you'll be back, I look forward to chatting with you again. I'll have a look at your blog too! Have a lovely week!

  5. Great post! i am glad you shared it on my link-up.
    God bless your blogging endeavors! You are a blessing!

    1. Hi Chris, thank you so much for visiting again, your blog is beautiful and you're a blessing also! Have a fantastic week!

  6. Thank you for sharing your heart. I'm really keen to read this book, as there's a lot there I could relate to. xx

    1. Hi again Jess! It's a great read, be sure to have a highlighter ready! I hope you enjoy it, thanks for visiting!


I would love to hear from you! Please feel free to leave your comment!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...